Kindergarten and Second Grade...Whoa

My head is buzzing.  How is their day going?  Are they making friends?  Do they like their teachers?  Do they miss me as much as I miss them (well, that's a no)? Where did the time go?  When can I go pick them up?

Today, Tomas started second grade and Gabriella started Kindergarten. 

I am so proud of them both.  Tomas, as usual, wants nothing to do with a haircut, so he looks a bit disheveled...we'll take him soon to get that mop chopped. :) He was so ready to go.  I didn't even have to walk him all the way to the door.  My little buddy did have time to blow me a few kisses though...melt!

Some facts about Tomas on his first day:
He is 7 years old.
He wears size 6 or 7 clothes and size 1 shoes.
He can ride his bike without training wheels.
He loves Chemistry (he is now Nitrogen).
Every time someone gives him a kiss, he must give one back.
He loves Skylanders.
His best friends are Austin M., Owen B., and Ben T.
He has come a long way in swimming and is now a Guppy.
His teacher for second grade is Mrs. Wolfe.

Gabriella is going to Kindergarten in the afternoon.  She helped me see Tomas off to school and then came back home to hang out with Kasey and me.  Gabriella, as usual, worked on something crafty and creative this morning but it is a work in progress so pictures will have to come another day.  At Meet-n-Greet she got a little bag of items with a poem on it.  One of those things was Smarties (because they will learn so much this year)...she made the wrapper into a bow for her first day.  Just before she got to school she made me take it out of her hair.  I was a tad disappointed but I think the nerves just hit her suddenly.

Gabriella is totally ready for school.  She knows one of the girls in her class from Pre-K last year and I think that helps a lot. Her teacher this year is Mrs. Bolser, who asked her when they first met, "Do you shake hands or do you hug?"  Love this.  Hugs it was...


A few facts about Gabi:
She is 5 years old.
She wears a size 6 or 7 in clothes and a size 11 shoe.
She refuses to have the training wheels on her bike anymore but is frighteningly wobbly...she will get there.
She is constantly singing or humming and creates our family background noise all the time.
She is very creative and loves to craft.  Everything she touches becomes an idea for a project (many of these are never completed or even started but the brainstorming is amazing).
Gabi is also a little fish and became a Ray over the summer.
She wears her emotions on her sleeve for all to see.
She doesn't understand why five year olds can't wear makeup.
She can't wait to be 7 so she can pierce her ears.

Growing People (Part II)

There has been some time for the dust to settle on the lost bananas at Casa Pedraza. 

When this all went down, I asked myself, "Self, why isn't Tomas being honest about losing bananas at school?"  I've said it before, and I'll say it again, Tomas isn't bad or malicious, so I don't think that is playing into his motivation here.  Like most kids, Tomas loves to please...somewhere along the way he realized that it felt good when he came home and was able to report no bananas lost.  Then he realized that his teacher and I weren't talking when he lost only one banana, so he didn't see the harm in keeping that information quiet, after all, Mommy is proud when I tell her I didn't lose any bananas!  He was so caught up in this that he forgot that two lost bananas means a call home, so BUSTED!
After my initial shock (and anger) at his blatant, unwavering dishonesty passed, I puzzled out this motivation and Tomas and I had a chat.  privileges lost was a given.  Dishonesty like this is unacceptable.  The question was what to do now.  Clearly I no longer know whether to believe the statement, "I didn't lose an bananas today!"  How do we get back to the point where Tomas can get that happy feeling when he gets off the bus and I can support him in that?  
I emailed Tomas' teacher and told him about this conundrum (in addition to apologizing to his teacher for the fact that he said he hates her...not THAT word!!!!).  I asked whether she could send a quick email every day stating how Tomas did...she came back with the idea of a notebook Tomas could keep in his backpack where she would make a note of whether he lost bananas.  I thought this would work, and I never anticipated how well.  Tomas was BEAMING with pride when he got off the bus with his notebook, happy to share a good report (and the fact that he had hugged his teacher and apologized for hurting her feelings).
Needless to say, I am thrilled with his sense of pride and ownership (as opposed to frustration or shame), and I thank his teachers for presenting the idea in such a positive light.
To further accountability, I needed to come up with a motivation/reward system at home that would help us focus on necessary tasks and give Tomas something to work toward.  I had been putting this off for a while...things at home weren't as structured as they needed to be.  Pete had been home for a while and we were just enjoying time with Daddy, but my kids need structure (I would dare generalize and say ALL kids need this).  Tthis was the perfect opportunity to get out the proverbial whip (don't call DCFS...there is no actual whip in our house) and get this household back in shape. 
I believe that intrinsic motivation is important and something we all value (this is why we talk about treating others the way we want to be treated and  help eachother with chores and celebrate small successes with big smiles and cheers).  However, let's be honest, even as a adults we all work for extrinsic motivation as well (salaries, bonuses, certificates).  How to come up with a motivating system for Tomas...here's my thought process:
1.  What does Tomas really enjoy?   ...video games and legos
2.  What are some things that we could work to improve (this list HAS to be small...no need to make this too overwhelming...we need to set realistic goals and enable success so we can build on that success)?...focus/task completion
3.  How to tie these together?  Tomas can earn coins...every coin is five minutes of video game time.  He can choose to save up these coins and use them all on one day or use them as he earns them.

This has been very successful...if he comes home with a note that he kept all his bananas he earns two coins...tieing school into accountability at home.  Throughout the day he gets the chance to earn coins (I aim for no more than six in a day...).  There is an added rule, one that always helped in my classroom that seems to help at home too: if you ask me for a coin, my answer will always be no, even if I was about to give you one.  This prevents the whole system from getting insanely frustrating with the nonstop, "Can I get a coin for that?" question, and it addresses the fact that I'm not going to pay him for every little thing that he does.  I explained it this way, "When I give you something to do and it makes me say, 'Wow, he did an excellent job,' I might give you a coin, or when you do something without me having to ask, you might get a coin."  I know this seems a bit arbitrary, but that is why it's so important to set specific, small goals (for Tomas, focus and task completion).  This automatically takes away the arbitrary feel (or at least alleviates it).

I have to admit, we aren't using any actual coins yet.  Right now it is hash marks on a dry erase board.  I wanted to do a test run before doing something foolish like buying coins or spending hours cutting out card stock coins...  Needless to say, it seems pretty successful so that is next (I'll post a picture of his coin holder when he is done with it.)

Gabriella now also wants to earn coins.Yesterday I told her that was alright but as I'm writing this I realize I need to make it more specific to her and what she needs to work on (for example, she immediately started moving toys around in an attempt to earn a coin...thank you sweet pants, but not really the point).  She said she wants to earn video game time too, but she isn't really all that in to video games, so that will have to be adjusted too.  Maybe turning in coins for actual money to purchase something like those Zoobles she's always asking for or crafts...

Growing People

There is nothing like being a parent that makes you realize what a complex process growing up really is.  Somewhere along the way we all learned a lot, not just who we want to become, what we want to be when we grow up, how to read, and what is 2 +2.  I'm talking life skills things, like how to recognize when our attention span is fading, what to do about it, how to let out our emotions, when to decide that you really can't wait any longer to stop what you are doing and go to the bathroom, and how long is five minutes?...  Tomas, being the oldest child, gets the brunt of my parenting learning curve.  There's not a great manual out there, buddy, and I don't have a license for this.  Sorry for all the mistakes!


A few days ago I talked about Tomas' emotional struggles.  He is figuring out how to express his frustration appropriately and how to move on.  I see strides in this every day.  As a matter of fact, the same day as my last post, he came home and made choices in handling disappointments (No, you can't have more handisnacks) that made me burst with pride.  As we had discussed that morning, he told me he was sad about it and then calmly listened as I gave him his choices.  Way to go my little man!!  Seriously, I know tomorrow I'll probably be dealing with a meltdown about the wrong pair of underwear, but every journey comes with steps backwards. (If there is one thing the nightmare of potty training has taught me...)

Anyway, I digress.  Today I want to talk a bit about focus.  It's not an easy thing for Tomas...at all.  When he's supposed to be listening, he is frequently whispering, singing to himself, or recreating a silent Star Wars battle with his fingers.  In a way, these things help him focus so I tend to let them go.  However, now that he is getting older, we are seeing these difficulties manifest themselves at school.  He has trouble completing tasks (20 minutes is not too long to cut and glue a circle, bud) and listening during down time.

A few challenges with Tomas' focus:
1. He is one of the youngest in his class.
2. He is reading at a beginning second grade level, so some of the in class content is boring.
3. He doesn't really care that people might be annoyed that he's jumping around in circles instead of standing and listening.

A few things I've learned already:

1.  Have him repeat back directions I give him.  Frequently I find that he is so involved in whatever he is doing that he didn't even hear me.  No use in getting all frustrated, let's just try again and make sure you're focusing this time.

2.  Set time limits.  I literally set a timer in our house and remind him of how it's winding down.  Otherwise (and I'm not kidding folks) it will take him 45 minutes to eat three pieces of chicken and a couple of peas.

3.  I frequently find myself saying.  "This is the last time I am asking you and then I'm going to count (to 3, or 10, or whatever is appropriate)."  This is one I struggled with for a while because before becoming a parent I found this very annoying (and part of me still does).  It really does work, though!!  I think part of my annoyance was, and I've had this discussion SO often, "What happens when you get to three."  Well, you see, that is the key.  Something does have to happen when you get to three.  In my house, that is usually a time out or you don't get to choose anymore, I make the choice.  Regardless, the key is be consistent and be prepared to follow through.  "This is the last time I am asking you to do this or we are going to leave."  You better be ready to leave the mall and go to the car because chances are those boundaries are getting pushed and you're getting called out on the fact that there are a few more stores you were planning to visit first.

Story time...

Here is what happened the other day: Tomas went to school on slipper day with slippers from our neighbor in his backpack.  He was crazy super excited about these slippers, and I was happy to see him excited and therefore totally blind to the challenges (parenting lesson...never be blind to potential challenges and always stay two steps ahead). 
Tomas is excited, he has new slippers, and excitement leads to higher levels of distractibility.  Slippers are something to mess with in class...you see where this is going.

Needless to say, he lost both his bananas in class today.  Without going into what that means in too much depth, I got a call from the teacher after Tomas left that day.  He lost one banana because he wasn't following directions in gym class and another because he was playing with those slippers and throwing them when the social worker was presenting a lesson (like I said, should've anticipated that one).  We are continuing to work on his focus and help him complete tasks effectively.  His teacher is phenomenal and I'm lucky to have such a wonderful teacher for him!

So I got the two banana call before Tomas got off the bus...here's what happened when he got off the bus...
"Hi Tomas."
"Hi Mommy, I had a good day!"
"Is there something you need to tell me?"
"Yeah, I didn't lose any bananas."

WHAT?!?!?!  Stop the presses.  We've been working on the distractibility issue and will continue to do so, but here was an entirely new issue.  Lying.  Oh man!!! His smiling face with the notebook in this post...the result of some discussions his teacher and I had...

I've been writing for some time, and since I do have three kids and a house to take care of, that's all I have the time or focus for right now.
Stay tuned for Growing People Part II and what we're working on to combat this dual issue:
1. Honesty
2. Focus

Tomas' First Day of Kindergarten

I think I was more nervous than Tomas was for his first day of kindergarten. The thing that made me most nervous was the bus. He has never ridden a bus, much less in an area we are still quite unfamiliar with. Tomas, however, was nothing but excited to start his new adventure. This qas quite a relief because last year was a tearful experience. Completely ready in his new Lego shoes and an outfit to match them, Tomas lined up his backpack with the big kids. When the bus came, he walked right on and didn't even look back. Yippeee!!!!
After he sat down, he peeked out the window and gave a brief wave. Our little guy is getting SO big!
Four hours later, he hopped off the bus, exclaiming, "I had a GREAT day!"
On his first day, he played Back to School Bingo and won a lollipop, he didn't have enough time to finish his snack because they had to go to music class, he sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in music class, he didn't lose a banana (the discipline system), and he didn't sit next to anyone on the bus.
We are excited to see what this year brings!

School Day Firsts

Today we had the first of what wil be many many future parent-teacher conferences for Tomas. Kasey joined Peter and I for our appointment. Mrs. Carter had her room set up comfortably, and she had Tomas' file ready to discuss. He is at the top of his class; his sight word vocabulary grows every day and he is an enthusiastic learner. He has good social skills and gets along well with other students in the class. There are a few boys that he is not allowed to sit next to in class, but that is nothing out of the ordinary. These are boys that he either likes to play with a little too much, or he gets into arguments with. The only concern for him right now is his distractibility, which is something we see at home also. It seems to be a combination of boredom and just the nature of Tomas. She will continue to work to challenge him whenever possible and we will all work on how to best get him out of his "elsewhere focus" moments and teach him skills to enable him to complete tasks in a timely manner.
Tonight I was pondering over the conference and talking about it with Peter and realized that Tomas is probably also the youngest in his class, and that has got to be a factor in any focus issues also. It will be interesting to see how the year progresses.

My Big Boy!

Today, Tomas and I completed his first homework assignment, a gingerbread man. We cut it out of paper, glued it on a poster, colored it with crayon, and decorated it with colored sugar, white mint kisses, and jelly bells. It looks fantastic (pictures to come) and Tomas even dubbed it "Twist," after his favorite character from "Fresh Beat Band." I was lucky...Gabriella took her usual nap, and Kasey took a nice long nap too, so Tomas and I had some time, just us, to complete this project.

Tomas' cutting skills are getting better and better (as long as he is looking at his work...cutting and looking around the room don't go well together). I helped him hold the paper to cut the gingerbread man, but he did all the actual cutting himself. We had to take turns coloring the gingerbread man's body, because it was a big space, and I could see he was losing interest a little bit. Taking turns and snacking on cookies helped keep it interesting. When he really tries, he does a fantastic job coloring beautifully! Overall, in the chaos of three kids, it was so wonderful to spend some quality time with my little guy.

A New Passion!!!

Tomas has shown quite an interest in outer space recently. He particularly loves Jupiter, but overall just wants learn everything he possibly can! Last month, he got his first scholastic book order (more exciting for me because of the memories it brought up!). There were a few books that were interesting, but the few outer space books were screaming to be ordered.

Yesterday, there was a wonderful surprise in Tomas' backpack. Scholastic books!! I have such fond memories of getting those books at school and rushing home to enjoy them. Tomas started this enthusiasm also. He was so thrilled to see his surprise of new books in his backpack and has taken them everywhere since! He is proud to know all about outer space and enthusiastic to learn more.

It is also adorable to see him combine fantasy with reality. He was telling me yesterday that he wants to be an astronaut. Shortly thereafter, he asked if I would come with him to outer space because he is scared of the aliens. Gotta love him!!!

Name Change?

Yesterday during rest time, Tomas did not take a nap, but instead drew and read in his room until his alarm went off. When he came downstairs, he calmly informed me that he is going to change his name because his name is not cool anymore. HUH?!?! He said he is going to be Thomas now. Hmmmmm....there is a boy named Thomas in his class, but what's up here?

When I went up to Tomas' room to turn off his alarm, I saw that he had actually used his alphabet cards to spell Thomas on his bedroom floor. Well, that's official...something's up, but I was not able to get it out of him yesterday. Last night Pete suggested that someone at school said something (Duh, why didn't I ask Tomas that?).

Needless to say, the truth came out this morning. We asked Tomas about his name this morning, and apparently the status had not changed. So I asked whether someone said something to him at school. Tomas said that "those girls" (imagine the eye roll and exaggerated hand motions of annoyance) called his name pretty, so it wasn't cool anymore, so that's why he changed his name. He was so upset about it that he didn't even want to be in the room with us. After a bit more talking about the fact that those girls were trying to be nice (he was not convinced), he came to snuggle and we kept talking. He's still not thrilled about what "those girls" said, but at least he's Tomas again.

Open House and Babysitters!

Tonight was Open House at Tomas' school. No surprise, but kids are not allowed at Open House, so we had to find another arrangement for the kids. My awesome neighbor and friend, Heather, offered to share her babysitter with us. This was great because it meant the kids had a good level of comfort by being with their friends. Still, I was nervous because in reality, it was really the first time we've left the kids with a babysitter. Sure, they've stayed with Oma and Bada, and friends of ours have watched them, but that is not remotely the same! Needless to say I was feeling nervous about how it was going to go.

Tomas was thrilled to be having a "kid meeting" wile we went to the adult meeting at school. That was a great start!!!

Pete and I went to the open house. I was a hormonal, exhausted, emotional mess: nervous about the whole night and not in such a "go with the flow" mood. Unexpectedly for me, we had to bring the Cadillac to a show in our ongoing efforts to sell it. Like I said, I was not so go with the flow, so it turned me into a total mess. A good hug and a few tears later, we walked into Tomas' school. We were both so much looking forward to learning more about the flow of the classroom so that we can have some more details to ask Tomas about every day.

Tomas' teacher's name is Mrs. Carter. She is a petite older woman with 3 grown children who got a late start in her career. Mrs. Carter, is an enthusiastic, warm person who seems to truly love working with preschoolers. I am looking forward to seeing what she does for Tomas this year.

As expected, the open house talked a lot about general expectations for the year. Tomas is on par in regards to social development. It will be great for him to get to work on listening skills, not interrupting, and general socialization with peers. When it comes to academics, he is well ahead of the curve. Mrs. Carter says phonemic awareness, letter knowledge, and letter sounds are the goals for the year. Well, Tomas has already achieved that, so I am curious as to how everything will develop as the year goes on. As Mommy and Daddy, we want to make sure Tomas stays interested and challenged at school, so we will be having conversations with Mrs. Carter in the coming weeks as to how that will happen.

We returned to the school parking lot to a text message from the baby sitter. Gabriella had an accident, and not the easy kind of accident...the gross stinky kind. Oh man! Not the news I wanted to hear! Maria, the babysitter said everything was fine, but we headed back to find out. Gabriella and Tomas were both in a good mood when we picked them up, so despite putting the babysitter through some grossness, the evening seemed to be a success. Phew!!

Hesitant, Sensitive Little Man

Tomas is very nervous about school. Today was his fourth day, and it is still difficult to get him out of the house in the morning, and tears are a daily occurrence at drop off. Boy oh boy is it pulling at Mommy's heart strings!!!

First, we have the issue that Tomas is NOT a morning person, and school starts at 8:30. In order to have him fed and reasonably awake by the time we leave, he needs to get up between 6:30 and 6:45. This is not popular! The only way to actually get him out of bed is to actually carry him down the stairs (fun with baby 3 in utero). He definitely wants to wear his pjs as long as possible!! Tomas is just a kid that needs to take his time in the morning (or he will be the kid asleep in the front row during first period).

I think that he also misses his school from last year a bit. That was the first time he really had his own friends and it is definitely tough to leave that behind. He just doesn't understand that all of those friends have moved on to other schools too. Poor kiddo.

We were looking at pictures from his first day together, and when he saw the pictures from the end of the day (at pickup), he said, "Mommy, I was happy because you came back!" Awww, the truth about the root of his nervousness comes out.

First Day of School

Today was Tomas' first day of school. What a huge moment! Starting today, he will go to school every school day for the next 14 years (at least...the next 18-22 years, more probably). Needless to say, I was a bit emotional! We woke up Tomas at 6:30 this morning. I picked him up to hold him in my lap (equally for some cuddle time as for a little motion to get him going), and he promptly wormed his way back into bed and under his blanket. He should be an AWESOME teenager!!!

Waffles and yogurt were on the menu for breakfast, and a bit of Nick Jr, too. Both Gabriella and Tomas had a nice relaxed time and also quite a bit of silly time. Overall, it was a good start to the day.

Soon, it was time to get in the car and head to school. Well, this is when all bets were off. Tomas insisted that he was not going to school, refused to wear his backpack, and definitely did not want to take any pictures! Gabriella, on the other hand, donned her backpack like a champ and headed out the door with a smile (fully unaware that she was not actually going to school today). Enticed by the lure of playing the letter game in the car, we were finally able to leave the house. The letter game essentially involves Tomas picking 2 random letters that are sometimes a blend and us talking about words that have those letters in them.

The drive to school was quick and painless (stupid oversized lawnmowers aside), but when we arrived at school, the hesitance resumed. Poor Tomas just didn't want to go up to the front door. It didn't matter how many cool Iron Man and Tinkerbell backpacks we pointed out; he didn't even want to step onto the sidewalk from the parking lot. Eventually, we pointed out that he couldn't just stand there in the parking lot, so he made the first steps, and, clinging to my hand, approached the door.

We had to wait for his teacher to come to the door, so we talked to a few people and attempted some more memorable pictures of his first day. They are definitely memorable, but smiles were not to be seen. Gabriella was walking around to each person, especially those with Tinkerbell backpacks, and talking up a storm. Tomas picked a spot on the sidewalk away from everyone else, sat down, and refused to talk. When Mrs. Carter came to the door to collect her class, it wasn't too much of a battle to get Tomas to the door (note Pete's idea to tell Tomas he was going to give his backpack to another kid if he didn't want to go..............). Tomas held my hand heading there and then one of the school staff took over to help out. Pete snuck into the building to take a few pictures of a silently tearful, pouty Tomas.

What happened while he was at school will remain a mystery. Each child has to be signed out individually when picked up, and when I signed Tomas out, he ran over and gave me a giant and wonderful hug! However, whenever Pete or I tried to ask him about his day, silence or "I don't remember" were pretty much the only answers we got. My attempt to give Tomas 2 snacks (6 bunny crackers and 6 grapes) failed I think because I put them in 2 separate containers. Oops, I cheated. Next time, I guess the grapes and crackers go in the same container and we'll see what feedback I get.

Tomorrow is another day. Pete will be dropping off Tomas because I have a doctor's appointment, so I will be hearing all about it, I hope.

School Days

Today is the first day of school for Tomas! I'm nervous! (Yes, I know, I'm not the one going to school).

Yesterday we had the opportunity to visit his school, meet his teacher and explore his classroom a bit. He told me the night before that he doesn't like his new school; he likes his old school and it's toys better. Having never been to his new school before, I knew this was his way of expressing his anxiety. Then, on the way toward the front door of the school yesterday, he said, "Mommy, Daddy, my tummy hurts! I think I ate too much food." Sweet little Tomas was nervous, so Daddy carried him a good part of the way toward the front door, until the sound of lots of kids was heard and his nervousness started to turn to excitement.

His classroom and teacher, Mrs. Carter, were warm and welcoming. Colorful rugs adorned the floor, and Tomas had many opportunities to find his name throughout the room. In the end, it was a battle to leave the room (Tomas, in all of his thoroughness, wanted to get a chance to explore every nook and cranny.

This morning, reticence has taken over yet again. He was not interested in getting out of bed, and is now telling me, yet again, that he doesn't want to go to school. I'm sure there will be many days of Mommy the Cheerleader before these feelings turn around for him.